can't we just pretend it never happened
and go back to making each other laugh
and cry
happy tears
you said you hadn't cried in years
until i came along
we were so silly once, you know
acting like kids that knew so much
about everything
but nothing at all
that's how we connected, i think
i think..
a lot
about you
and that makes me do..
..stupid things sometimes
even though i know better
i wrote you one hell of a letter
a while back
it started off mean
but that part didn't last long
and eventually i turned the letter into a song
to sing to you
if you ever wanted to hear my voice again
but i know you wouldn't - then
and probably still don't - now
or never will - maybe
so i let it get lost
and build dusty frost
in the depths of my closet
i found your hoodie in there,
with everything else i never wear,
ripped at the wrists
from all the turns and twists you put it through
before i stole it from you
before i left
it doesn't smell like you anymore
and it doesn't cling to me anymore
but you wore it once or twice or four..
times
so i held onto it
and it held onto the stub of my plane ticket
in the pocket i used to bury my fist in
so i wouldn't hit you
..not like i could have anyway
because no matter how sad
or mad
or lost you looked
you still looked like you
and i loved you, so much
especially your eyes
they were so blue..
it's not my fault i cracked in two
and drowned in them
they were so deep
i even stared at you while you would sleep
and wondered what you could be dreaming about
that made your body twitch like it did
maybe it's just because you were sleeping next to me
because i didn't belong there
because you didn't want to wake up
and realize what a mistake you made
by letting me fade
in and out of your world
but that's what kids do
what people do
they make mistakes
i just don't understand
why it's so easy for me to let go of yours
while you judge
while you hate
while you discard everything i actually did right
said right
tried right
and hold onto all of mine - just the mistakes
just the things i did wrong
but i'll be fine - if that's what it takes
i'll be strong
..cause i've grown up a little
now i'm just waiting
for you
to,
too.
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Author's Comments
i guess it's a good thing i'm patient.
or maybe i'm just stupid. either way, i'm still waiting. pointless or not, it makes me want to get through another minute hour day month year without you somewhere in it. |
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Comments
--
give me your heart and your soul.
--
“Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared.” -Henri Nouwen
--
“Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared.” -Henri Nouwen
--
give me your heart and your soul.
--
“Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared.” -Henri Nouwen
--
give me your heart and your soul.
--
“Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared.” -Henri Nouwen
--
give me your heart and your soul.
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